


This Is Why People Hate Witchers

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Series: Horrible Gremlin Geralt Chronicles [3]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Video Game Mechanics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:16:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28928667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: Civilians' observations of Geralt doing Video Game Protagonist Things, based on all the stupid things the writer has done while playing Witcher 3: Wild Hunt.
Series: Horrible Gremlin Geralt Chronicles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121384
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. Walking Right Into Houses, Stealing Everything

~ This Is Why People Hate Witchers ~

"That witcher," an old man says, shaking his fist. "He walked right into my house. I heard him banging around in there. 'Why are there so many broken rakes in this house?' I heard him say to himself. 'Who needs this many broken rakes?' And then he comes out, and you know what he's got? All of my rakes! All five of them!"

"Calm down, grandpa," says a much younger man. "Weren't they all broken anyway?"

The old man continues ranting as if he hadn't heard his grandson.

"What's a witcher going to do with all my rakes, anyway? Probably couldn't get more than a few crowns each for them if he was going to sell them. And it's not like I could have done anything to stop him. He probably would have killed me if I tried. And the guards don't care what happens inside our houses. If they didn't see him stealing anything, then they don't care."

~oOo~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Yes, the FIVE broken rakes in one house really struck me as odd. There weren't ANY other items in there.~~


	2. Stealing Things, Then Selling Them Right Back

~ This Is Why People Hate Witchers ~

"That witcher walked right into my house and stole everything that wasn't nailed down, even a jug of water and my last piece of bread," a merchant complained. "And then he came out here and sold it all right back to me! I recognize my own stuff. He didn't even keep anything he stole. Why go to all the trouble to do things that way when he could have just pulled out his sword and said, 'Give me all your money!' That would have been more straight-forward, at least."

~oOo~


End file.
